If I ever (or eventually) have an online dating profile “Must Love Ice-Cream” will definitely be one of the non-essential requirements – along with my no crazy brother who has a shot-gun policy. You see I’ve noticed that every important and special girl in my life has always been addicted to ice-cream (and/or frozen yogurt). I think every girl prob likes ice cream, but that’s my theory and I’m sticking with it.
So what got me onto Ice-Cream? Well someone this weekend asked me what I miss most about Cape Town. Well I miss my daily walk along the beach with my mom. And every day without fail mom rewards herself with an ice cream before she goes home. The irony is you won’t find one drop of ice cream back home… But that’s my mom (much like me) she’s got her vices and feels she needs to earn her ice cream. Shit in my opinion if you raised the greatest kid known to mankind (me) and also put up with that crazy brother of mine, she can have as much ice cream as she wants.
Ice-cream is clearly a drug. It’s just so damn addictive, far more so than that other tool of gluttony – chocolate. Ice cream is also a truth serum. Think about it, when you eat ice-cream you cant lie. Your body is in such a state of nirvana that your mind can’t focus enough to fabricate a lie. So Gentleman write this down. Take your little chica out for ice cream, and then ask all the questions that you really need to know. If she doesn’t want ice cream – then you’ve either got a high maintenance waif or she has something to hide.
The last ice cream/frozen yogurt I had was at yogurtland in Tempe, AZ. Again that was ironically next door to my favorite hamburger joint – the great old In-n-Out. With my new imposed diet, all of that gluttonous heaven is now illegal. Now I eat broccoli and cauliflower – at least 4 times a week. I feel like a deprived vegan. As I’ve said before real men don’t eat broccoli (and don’t even get me started on cauliflower). I still maintain that when doctors/scientists eventually prove eating toenails is healthy, that too will become a fad. At least I still don’t eat Peas.
And that’s much ado about ice cream.
“I’m not a vegetarian because I hate meat. I’m a vegetarian because I hate plants”