Stupidity is clearly a common gene within most if not all of us. It does not matter where I shop I always manage to find stupid people who just stop randomly in middle of the isles. It is at its most annoying when I’m shopping for groceries.

Some people just stop, because they’re looking for something. I know I often get confused when looking for something, so I don’t have a problem with this at all. But seriously why do you have to stop in the middle of the isle you pimple brained phlegm wart? Are you just plain selfish, or did you honestly have just a regular brain fart? We all have brain farts, some of us daily or even hourly, but I think most people are just so self absorbed that they don’t notice that the whole world has just stopped so they can decide which type of peanut butter to buy.

Then there are those people who stop completely randomly anywhere. These are the oxygen thieves who stop at the bottom of an escalator, or just after exiting the bus. In their pubescent stages of mother-fuckery you will find them randomly stopping in shopping malls or in the grocery stores. I sometimes wonder what makes you stop in the most inconvenient place. Did you suddenly realize you’ve forgotten your wallet, or did you suddenly find Jesus in the clouds? I think it’s more credible to believe that your brain just switched off. Ctrl Alt DeL

If you are one of these random stoppers, well watch out for me. I’ve decided to start taking matters in to my own hands. I will initially give you the benefit of the doubt and politely say excuse me, regardless of the mood I’m in. If you move out the way, well then no problem, life goes on, the sunshine will continue to shine. HOWEVER, if your brain has completely switched off and you turn around to look at me, as if by some miracle I’m actually the one inconveniencing the world, well then we’ve got problems sir. Most probably I will just brush past you and make a large sigh or utter something about how selfish you are. But I warn you dear stoppers, the day will come when I will lose my cool and tell you all the dark and twisted thoughts running through my head at that time. And that is a day, neither hell wants.

Be smart, keep right (or left depending on which country you’re in)

Thanks from all the smart people

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